I think I know what I'm doing...

2011-11-23T08:06:00.001-08:00

Happy thanksgiving!!

2011-10-22T13:07:00.001-07:00

I think I know what I'm doing...: Story time to come soon

2011-04-09T17:37:00.002-07:00

I think I know what I'm doing...: Story time to come soon

Story time to come soon

2011-04-09T17:37:00.001-07:00

To all my fans - you know you are out there!

I'm going to start blogging again...but this time, they will be fictional stories - will you read them?

Lost count

2010-03-08T18:45:00.000-08:00

My dear followers,

I've caved. But I feel okay about it. I I know it is disappointing to some of you, but "frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" :) nah, I do care - that was just a quote from my favorite movie of all time: Gone With the Wind. And I do appreciate your votes of confidence. I have been able to change a lot of things that were out of control before, things that were definitely triggered by the wine. When I started this journey, I thought it was the other way around - the behavior was triggering the wine. I know it sounds like an excuse, but I would like to report that it is not what it appears to be. I have been able to cut out certain things from my life, be more open and honest with myself and friends. I see things differently, enjoy the present more and live in awareness.

My friends, I wanted to report my inability to complete the 365 days, because some of you may have been wondering where and what had happened to it. I have not started drinking to get drunk, quite the contrary, I have returned to where I was years ago when I was able to enjoy a glass with friends and talk about life without the peer pressure. I actually managed a whole 45 days without it! how long have you managed to abstain from it?

I hope you understand and if you are scratching your head in total dismay (I doubt it very much), and feel like you need to walk away with something from all of this, here are some key points:

"Being aware of where and who you are is not easy to do, but once you are there, nothing else around you matters, you are your own and what people think or say about you is worthless and a moot point."

"Drinking is a cultural experience, so be sure to always buy good wine and share it with worldly friends."

"Life is too short, so don't waste it!"

I will take a hiatus from this blog, but continue to follow my adventures, follow me on Twitter: @kikabz or read my San Antonio Express News blog: http://voices.mysanantonio.com/cristinevasquez/

Good night my friends!
Cristine Vasquez

FOLLOWING ME ON MYSA.COM?

2010-02-07T12:57:00.001-08:00

Dear readers,

I still have not had a drink - went to dinner with a friend and while the alcohol was everywhere, I resisted, with her help as well. I'm still in the game! I did dream I had a few glasses of wine, a good one :)

Please divert to reading my new weekly blog:

http://voices.mysanantonio.com/cristinevasquez/

I get good reviews there.
Cristine

-345 day is not over yet, but I can safely claim today as well

2010-01-30T12:49:00.000-08:00

Dear readers,

20 days have past and only one sip to speak of. I still feel bad about that, and carry the only one comment against my doing to heart. It feels as though I must explain myself over and over again. The truth is that so many times in our lives we focus on the one critic. We have been told from a very young age that something awful is always about to happen and therefore we must proceed with caution and fear. As I stated in earlier blogs I have been blessed with a personality that is best described as "disconnected" from the rest of the world's general idea of actually caring what people think. I've always pressed on, but I never discard negative comments and take them seriously, however I have always naturally sifted those out of my thought process. Again, I never forget them, but they are naturally converted into a driving force to press on in life in a positive way.

If there is anything I want people to take from this silly project is that we all have choices. If your day starts with the basic premise that no one can hurt you, that shall be true. I've always looked at it like a mathematical equation: you have the given and variables. Everything that is controllable by you is the given, plus the variables, such as the attitudes of other people, makes up your day. All you can do is control your own "givens" - now how do you define your "given"?

That's the trick - some may not believe that your own attitude is your fault. How many of us blame so much on others? I hear that everyday. That's just a lie, an incorrect perception, likely created by the way we were all raised. Yes, it is fair to make the observation that much of our fears, problems, perceptions and even good fortunes are our parents and environment's fault, but we cannot continue blaming them for every little problem we face on a daily base - that, we control ourselves - it's our "given" in the equation.

I went to my first Stella Dot party this Wednesday at my neighbor's house. What lovely pieces! These events usually include wonderful wines and cheeses and fruits. My dear friend, knowing that I am attempting to achieve this 365 days of sobriety, gently poured me a glass of diet coke - in a wine glass! what a touch! During the course of the event, I was able to speak to friends in common and have a good time, without having one sip of my absolute favorite drink: wine. My friend gave me some words of encouragement and lots of hugs. Like I said before, the true friends will stick this out with me, not necessarily by joining in, but by respecting my decision.

I am going to start the express news blog as of tomorrow - so you will see less postings here. That is not to say that my plan to pursue this project is done with. Quite the contrary, I shall continue it and with my self motivation and your support, I will complete it.

349 and 348 - busy day and karaoke night respectively...

2010-01-27T19:28:00.000-08:00

Dear readers,

Sorry for not having anything posted last night and for the weak post the night before. Yesterday was a VERY busy day so I did not have the energy to sit down and write. Today also, a busy one, and while at work I was almost falling asleep, the anticipation was building up because I knew that tonight was the night I was going to go watch one of my bosses sing at a pizza joint close to the office which has karaoke night every Wed and Friday.

I was nervous, because I love to karaoke, but usually need a drink or two to loosen up. So after work, I picked up my kids and off we went to the pizza place. My boss is a pro, and you see, I'm going to try to book him on a few places around town. He needs instrumentals though - any takers?

After a few songs by him, mostly Frank Sinatra's style songs, I got brave and sang "Been a Long Time Gone" by the Dixie Chicks - whoa! was I horrible! although people were cheering me on, my children hiding in shame...but the good news was, in case you did not notice, that all I had to drink was water and Pepsi.

Who said I can't sing? What a night. :)

Now for the news, starting this weekend, I'll transition this blog into my new one with the San Antonio Express News:

http://voices.mysanantonio.com/cristinevasquez/

I know this is a pain for most of you, but please stay with me and although I plan on continuing reporting sober progress here, I will be shifting my focus to a weekly, or maybe bi-weekly blog about my personal experiences as a foreigner away from home. Although it feels like I'm an American by now, there is always going to be a part of me who holds on to my home land of Brazil.

Good night to all and please keep on reading.
Cristine

-350

2010-01-25T18:37:00.000-08:00

I did not have a very converstional day at all today.

Was in training all day, so I was mostly listening. At lunching discussed the weekend with friends and they all shared that they had a drink or two and that was the highlight of their reports.

I had to rush home due to a mis-communication on kids transportation arrangements. This is an under statement of how I felt. Not much talking after that. Sometimes people just need silence. The hard thing is when the thinking starts... I just want silence. Resting now and going to bed early.

To those of you who think I will fail...I will come out of this victorious.

Happiness and peace is all I am going for.

Good night!

Until soon...

-350 That's right, it did not count!

2010-01-24T19:25:00.000-08:00

I've asked you all to express what you think I should do since last night's disaster of taking one little sip from my sister-in-law's cup. Although majority of you have said I need to keep going with my count down and that a sip is not enough, one of you even said I should get credit for taking the sip and resisting not getting my own cup. But it was the first comment that I seemed to have focused on. Some of you may think that what I did was cheating (including my brother), but I tend to agree with the rest of my readers.

I do want to address the fact that we, humans, tend to focus on the negative and criticism. This applies to every aspect of our lives. Why do we spend so much energy there when there is so much more positive energy coming from different directions towards us? Is there a formula that proves that for every criticism, you need three or more positive and encouragement to completely disregard the negative one. Is it because we are inherently pessimistic? or are we programed from an early age to judge and be judged therefore it is extremely harder to feel accepted than criticized?

I was raised with a lot of encouragement, but will say that there were times in my life that I felt the criticism pressure, which would fade minutes later, due to a sense of confidence and positive self-esteem. Looking back, one would describe my self-confidence as delusional, but it is that very delusion that got me through most of my adventures. I sometimes feel fearless and secure that I am a good person and do my best at everything I put my heart to. So to the one vote 'no' - sorry, but I'm sticking to my plan and keeping pressing on.

It feels like I have to remind everyone why I started this to begin with - it was to attempt to figure out why most people fall for peer pressure, what are some of the buttons that are pushed that drives us to try to blend in and make a fool out of ourselves. One theory is that we all want to feel like children, uninhibited, creative, and always having fun. One other theory, which was the one I was exploring as my own reasons, is that there are deeper issues that need to be addressed. I wanted to understand why people make the connections with people they hardly would if they were not drinking and why do they chose the environment of chaos when peace of mind is right around the corner...sober.

Good night and GO SAINTS!

-351...Beer Margaritas

2010-01-23T20:57:00.000-08:00

WOW - today was hard. Thought about "relaxing" all day...I also have known since Thursday I knew there was a surprise party for my sister-in-law who just turned big 40. I did anynothing but slave in this house all day while my husband was working. The house has 2,700 square feet of tile to mop and carpet to vacuum; 4 bathrooms to clean (yes...4!) and you figure out how much wall space that these days seems to be holding junk, and junk to me equals dust.

Times like these is when I really miss living in Brazil, where you can afford cleaning help for every room if you want to. An equivalent salary to $1,900 there allows you to enjoy all stretches of good life. What would that amount of money permit in the US? A doctor visit alone will cost you close to 500 dollars here if you don't have insurance...in Brazil: ZERO! All subsidized by the government, who takes the tax dollars citizens pay (which for American's standards would be high) and allocates it appropriately. Hmmm, sounds familiar readers?

After getting my daily exercise (today I was really moving my body in ways I did not know I could - each stretch to reach that little speck of dust was a surprise to me) I got ready and went to the surprise party.

I had been preparing myself all day to how to say "no thank you" to drink offers at that party, so we get there, surprised my sister-in-law and people starting drinking. I get my soda and leave the room and I hear this great commotion about some new thing: Beer margaritas. My other sister-in-law comes to me and shoves the cup at my face, it looked just like it should, creamy and refreshing. "Taste it, it's delicious!" she says. I reply: "I"m not drinking" meaning ... "I'm not drinking for at least a year, you see, I've had this deranged idea to do abstain from alcohol, and now here I am, looking at this wonderful creation, smelling the sweetness of lime mixed with sugar and beer, and I'm not going to drink it." But in her mind I was really saying: "I'm not drinking because I'm driving your mother home." This brings me to the point that not everyone knows I'm doing this. I have leaked the information to some friends who encourage me, others who interestingly enough have distanced themselves from me, and to my blood family, who are, in this case, conveniently far enough where I did not have to do a lot of explaining to their faces.

Now I'm faced with having to tell my husband's family, who is a large family mind you, and every single one of them lives in San Antonio...oh boy. She basically blew me off and insisted I tried it. So my friends, it is with great disgust that I tell you that I took one sip and just like "Frank the Tank" from Old School movie said, it tastes so good when it touched my lips. I wanted to get my own, because it was the most wonderful Margarita I ever tasted. It must have been less than 2.5 ml sip, but I did sip :( I was strong though, so I stuck with my coke.

I diverted danger by talking to my mother-in-law. Everyone around me was getting tipsy, taking celebratory shots (with orange and cinnamon instead of lime and salt - another innovation) and this was the first time, in a LONG time that I got to sit back and enjoy the show of drunken people. Boy, don't they get brave? Suddenly they know it all, they are no longer afraid to say what they feel about a person whom they've known for over 15 years, and so on.

Needless to say I had a lot of fun. I will leave it up to you to decide if I should count this day as a "clean" day or not. What do you say?

Hope your weekend is going great!

Good night.

-352 I've been hoping Jesus would resurect before these facts about me did!

2010-01-22T21:03:00.000-08:00

So the girl realized how boring she really is.

This trajectory was not meant to make her see that and it was surprising that this came out...a truth long forgotten. It was always known that she had obssessive compulsive behavior tendencies, but the rule abiding, strict and honest side of her has cleared emerged once again. This meant trouble, like a hidden secret that is finally published and out for everyone to see. The girl was nothing but boring and average. Is this a side affect of the process? is rage and bitterness taking over her life? "No yet", she thinks, but it certainly felt like what she feared most all her life, to have no friends, was nearing dangerously close.

This came about when a conversation about company policy arose. She proudly and astutely extended her chest out and erected her arms into the air affirming that rules must be followed or else (your record will be damaged) - they laughed at the comment, but to her it meant that at that very moment the long lost feeling of being ridiculed was back.

So how would she remedy this?

Most people would respond by saying "blend in", or "chill out", but that was not a choice then, and it is not one now. She must press on.

Loneliness is setting in - is this the penalty that must be endured? Makes one wonder, how many of us out there feel this way. How many of us stuff our faces with potato chips, drink ourselves to sleep, or exercise ourselves to exaustion because of loneliness? All the human race really wants is to love and be loved. That's it. Very simple and basic need.

When she realized what she was bringing back into life, she feared being in a place that had been locked away, in a different country alltogether! When she moved to America 18 years ago, she did not expect to have to, besides adjust to the new life, have to deal with old mannerisms years later. Why can't undesired memories and feelings stay in the country you left behind? Why do we drag these overweight luggages of experiences one hates so much along everywhere we go? And why don't we deal with them before they become monsters so giant no one can help, but the escape of social oblivious?

So while most of us wait for Jesus to resurect, she was confronted with the premature and undesired resurection of one part of herself that never really did die, but was simply put aside for about 16 years or so. Now everyone knows that she is not really that much fun ...

What skeletons are you hiding in your closet?

-353 (doing just fine, thank you)

2010-01-21T20:39:00.000-08:00

Dear readers,

My laptop is alive again! I am still having to connect the laptop to an LCD monitor and type everything with its monitor semi-closed. One of these days it will get mad at me and smack the heck out of my hands!

Yesterday was uneventful - but still great. I did worry about not blogging - quite a bit. But I just refused to use the Iphone to type more than a sentence or two into the blogger application. Its keyboard is too small and it would take me way too long.

I am having so much fun at work! I had almost forgotten how work enriches someone. It was like a light switch was turned on, and whether this job is for good, it certainly is doing us a lot of good. The benefits have gone beyond financial - my children are more independent. I noticed the changes especially in my son, who is now discovering himself and his abilities - really trusting himself into playing with other kids, doing his own homework. Going back to work was not an easy transition, although it was an easy decision - or obligation. Things got really tough and this was the only way out of trouble in the future.

I sound lazy, and irresponsible, but while at home I was doing a lot of promoting small businesses, but because of some personal pride, I thought that I could not have a paying job and promote at the same time. I really thought that was impossible - as it felt I was not specializing on anything - winging at every opportunity I had. It took me a long while to come to grips with the idea that I could actually do both. Yes, I would have little time left for my own pleasure, less time to surf the web, facebook, paying bills online, and particularly less time to have that glass of wine - gosh, the list goes on!

Today I told quite a few of my colleagues that I have not consumed one drop of alcohol for the last 12 days without shame, fear or hesitation. Most of them were shocked and went on by talking about their own drinking experiences these past 12 days, drifting away into the "drinking just 'cause" conversation. We discussed briefly about good wine versus bad wine, but the banter continued and while the ambiance was a fun one, the joke was really on all of us. I totally understand that behavior - I too laughed and joked with them, most likely due to peer pressure, but there I was, cracking up at these guys, whom I adore by the way, and I do not judge, because I too recall feeling like that. I used to want to drift away from the present tense just like they drifted into alcohol conversation. Those were the days that the wine was definitely consuming me...

To all my friends who really touched me by saying that I am inspiring them: THANK YOU! I think that we all lead by example. If this is touching you in some way it is because deep down you feel a need to change. However this little problem is connected to your life, whatever lays behind the need to succumb to peer pressure, address it, become aware of it. Once you address the issue, the need to casually drink and not fall for peer pressure will too fade away.

Progress report summary: Don't miss drinking at all, no regrets so far. No more headaches, and allergy levels still up, so pollen levels could not have been the cause. Weight slowly but steadily dropping. Now on my third day of running 1 mile/ day.

Not bad, huh?

No laptop:(

2010-01-21T04:56:00.001-08:00

All... Stay tuned...my laptop is not working and it is the only machine in the house!!! P
Working on plan B...

Until soon...

-355 Feeling darn good!

2010-01-19T19:50:00.000-08:00

Hello!!!!

Today was a very productive day. I woke up early, made kids breakfast, and to my surprise, they colaborated every step of the way. First day back to school after a break is always a great one - no resistance. We'll see how they do tomorrow morning (and myself as well!)

After I took them to school, I went for a run in the neighborhood, only one mile, but I ran non-stop. I had such a burst of energy, that only comes once in my monthly hormonal cycle. This may be too much information for you men, but all my female readers probably know exactly what I mean. It is an experience of upmost clarity and motivation.

I do also believe that perhaps my body is now getting used to what it was like before, it fells cleaner internally, detoxed, no confusion, or preocupation with the future. I feel pretty healthy, no complaints whatsoever. I will confess that although I did not expand on it, a couple of days ago I was pretty grouchy, and although it could have been due to the hormonal cycle (which I know nothing about by the way - I am assuming there is such a thing as a hormonal cycle), I attributed it to being the "weekend" and feeling resentment for not having the freedom to enjoy a glass of wine.

This morning I noticed the scale was one pound lighter than the day before, but I'm going to say it is a fluke...and will keep monitoring it as the days go by and keep you posted.

Most of the people I used to hang out and drink have dissipated from my usual routine. I hope I did not offend anyone. Interesting turn of events though.

I have not much to say today. I do still think about "the wine" like one would feel nostalgia of an old friend. Speaking of old friend, today I emailed someone I have not spoken to in a long time. This person was so integral in my life for so long during a time that, although my body was clean and detoxed, my mind was boiling in fear, distress and confusion. This individual helped me through most of my dark days, but once I started spirraling down into a path of social parties, spending time away from family, etc, the friend went away, litterally away. I'm hoping to one day rekindle the friendship, even though it will never be the same, and a "daily" contact is indefinetly impossible, I'll be happy if it becomes an"occasional" contact (spoof on UPS services).

Note to self: just like I pushed away and lost people when I embarked into this time in my life where public relations was consuming my evenings, I hope to now bring those people back by pushing away and loosing those habits.

Good night.

-356 days to go and learning every step of the way

2010-01-18T19:52:00.000-08:00

Dear readers,

Tonight it will be short. I am at a loss of words...really am. A few things have changed drastically, all for the good for the most part. Even the bad, is for the best - only because what was once perceived as bad (had it happened in my pre-project period) is actually now classified as a positive result from the changes I've made.

I received a response today that really intrigued me. It was cold and somewhat arrogant. It alluded to the fact that what I am working on is something not everyone would do, thus the arrogant conclusion. At the same time, the response also indicated that it was something not everyone COULD do, thus my deduction that this is a cold and "unaware" response.

Sometimes I just want to shake people into an elevated state of mind. How many of us live beyond our home-car-work-car-home routine? okay, most of us will do "happy hour" to break away from that pattern, but what I'm asking is why can't we really focus on what is going on in the world?

Yesterday I wrote about thinking of us first, but with that in mind, I find it hard to care for ourselves if we don't care for the bigger picture, or at least try to understand where we fit in this Universe. This is to say that we are here to challenge ourselves, to really experience different cultures, look beyond our boundaries. I find myself thinking thoughts of little tolerance towards people like that, and I become border line the KKK of the worldly - judging the non-worldly as ignorant and arrogant.

All I know is that this is working for me. I have not felt that much pressure anymore, perhaps because I have not put me in a position where I would. Or could others be sensing more than I think they are capable of?

No pun intended! :)

Once again thank you to all my friends who have been following my blog and I look forward to all comments. Tweeps: @kikabz

Until tomorrow...

Signed: C' (in honor of my Alaskan friends, who apparently never had the time to write my name in full when emailing me) :)

Awesome "Americana" experiece!

2010-01-17T18:27:00.001-08:00

-357 still going

2010-01-17T17:53:00.000-08:00

The weekend has passed and I am alcohol clean for 9 going on 10 days now! lost 2 pounds that I can tell by using my home scale and feeling good.

Saturday night was tough, I must say, very tempting to go to the store and buy a good red wine. Ate at one of my favorite restaurants and the owner offered me his best Malbec. He knows of my challenge, so I suppose he was testing me. I politely refused the offer, and drank only water.

Time is passing and some things are changing. I can't quite blog about them yet, because I don't know if this is just a phase or it will stick. They are too profound to write about them though.

I have been extra thirsty for water these past days, and wish I had a medical expert to tell me if this is related to quitting social drinking ("social" in my book = 3-4 times per week). I have also been feeling strong headaches, but those I think are due to the extremely high pollen numbers out there. I am extremely allergic to Cedar.

Went to Monster Jam today and was impressed at the show. It was my first time and as a foreigner, I felt the same exhilaration as my two children who were also seeing it for the first time. I was a kid again. The noise was hard, but we stopped at Wallgreens and bought some ear plugs before the show. With the plugs, it is so much fun! Next year I want to go again, but buy the more expensive tickets :) we had to sit in the nose bleeders. It was still fun - will post a video here soon.

I want to address a few notes I have received from my readers. Most of you have been very encouraging and I too agree that by writing out our experiences and awarenesses, we are opening other's consciousness to the subject. I am not better than anyone else - the fact that I have made this commitment has nothing to do with what other people do. The truth is that this was more for others to look at me without biases, to try to see my problems, my doubts, however if I inspire them to question their actions, habits and beliefs, and change for the better, whether stopping a vice, or just become more aware of themselves and who they are, I am happy. For the longest time I believed that we humans, especially women (gender I can relate) lived our lives for others. Years ago I struggled in my marriage, and someone told me: "JOY" - Jesus, others, you...at the time I was looking for peace, and I suppose that in order to run from a problem, you will have to focus in Jesus first, others next than you. But now I reject that theory. I feel it is a huge marketing ploy. We must care for OURSELVES. This is not to say to drop all compassion for others, but it is to say that we are to use the "loss of compression in a plane" speech: "first put the mask on YOU than on your neighbor (child, elderly, disable)" - what a concept to be applied in our own lives! If you take care of yourself first, you can take care of others much more!

So many people these days do not know who they are. Where they came from, why they are here. I feel I don't know it all, but I do know that I am here to live the "now." I don't sweat the small stuff, and I don't hold grudges. Those two things will make you physically ill. Now, if you come talk to me during that time of the month when the hormones are making themselves known...good luck! :)

Another anonymous writer posted something about "ego death" - and yes, this is exactly what I want to achieve. Complete death from the ego. No, I am not about to sell my possessions, because becoming free when you want to is not material, but spiritual. The first step for me was to stop "resisting" any possibilities of anything, such as happiness and mostly feelings of failure. When I accepted that failing is part of life, and being happy is what the "natural" state should be, I started become more AWARE of who I was, my surroundings, and my choices. Being aware is not possible until you stop resisting. Once you open your mind to what the Universe (God to some of you) has in store for you, you become one (become aware).

It is not that simple and I am still working on it, everyday. But the path there is fun, surprising and very pleasant.

Good night my friends, and please keep the comments coming. I read them all and love them.

Deer in the backyard

2010-01-16T16:01:00.000-08:00

-359 and -358 in one...

2010-01-16T09:56:00.000-08:00

Dear readers,

Sorry I could not write anything last night. After work my husband and I went to watch Avatar. I got home from work at 7:45pm, and the next show was at 8:25pm so we rushed out and needless to say I was starving and grouchy. So when we get there, I am forced to pay 9 dollars for a soda and a hot dog! We go in and the movie was packed, the show started and all was well, until the LSD trip started, with the shining leaves, bright bugs, and the Michael Jackson "Billie Jean" themed trees - where every step they took would light up the tree trunk beneath their feet...I'm afraid to say it, but that movie was unbearable! The plot is okay, but 3 freaking hours watching some blue kitty morphed into a giant alien like body was not my cup of tea. Yes, we humans are missing the point of being one with nature, but keep your pony tails to yourself. I'm sorry... Event though my husband loved it, I wanted my money back. Did I mention I was hungry? :) On the subject of alcohol, the people next to us were drinking beer, so now we find that besides the bucket of pop corn, the 2 gallons of soda we also need to drink beer or wine while watching a movie. The more I go to these movies, the more it makes me want to watch something at home, without the wine, of course!

So last night was my first dream about breaking my challenge. I was at the Tesoro office where I worked for years and there was some sort of party going on in the cafeteria. They were serving alcohol, so I consumed 2 glasses of white wine but did not realize I had done it until much later. Before I fell asleep I do recall thinking for quite some time about the "weekend" and how it would be nice to have a glass of wine with my dinner. For those of you who think I'm an alcoholic, I would describe this as a mourning period from the life style I was carrying on before. If I'm going to enjoy dinner, the dinner is what I'll enjoy and not the glass of wine that may be a great pairing with it. Yes, one can argue that the wine would be part of the dinner, but for me the reason I would consume a good wine was to relax. I don't want to have that dependency or connection to wine. If I want to relax, I ought to be able to turn off the TV, have my 5-10 of meditative time and that is what I want to call relaxation time.

I worked with a great wine expert once who told me wine pairings or wine tastings are not to be taken for granted. And that real good wines have a lower percentage in alcohol, you are enjoying the properties of the wine, and not the alcohol. I wonder how many of my friends think that. I think most of us would like to think that way, but somehow get lost in the cheapness of socialization of drinking and end up buying the high alcoholic stuff to really intoxicate our bodies. To "relax" away from our, in some cases, unhappy and unfulfilled lives.

I will try to post another note here later tonight. Have to go enjoy this beautiful day outside after a series of freezing weather and rain.

On a positive note, when I woke up this morning there were 4 deers in my backyard. The rain has brought some life to our grass and they ventured in to enjoy a little snack. This has never happened before, and although it may sound cheesy, perhaps our household is finally aligning with nature. As Neytiri from Avatar said: "I see you."

-360 and going...mood is changing...getting darker...

2010-01-14T19:48:00.000-08:00

Dear readers out there,

Let me start by saying that I am truly thankful for the continuous support. I have been a little nervous about continuing this topic, mostly due to underestimating myself and experiencing feelings of shame for picking such a banal subject.

I still value socialization, and want to be cool and hang with certain people. Just today as we walked to our cars after work I thought to myself: "this little project may cost me some future friendships, how can I go around that? will they still invite me if I don't take that shot with them while at happy hour? or will they slowly, discretely and politely discard me?".

I felt unusually tired today, but I attributed that to the few 5 hours of sleep per night I have been getting. My work hours are from 10-7pm, but unlike most of my single and childless co-workers, I get up everyday at 6am to get my kiddos ready for school. Yes, I'm complaining.

I also had a headache, and I'm blaming it on the sugar crave as I have been taking my allergy medicine as usual and the pollen levels have not increased in days. It seems this is shifting to a sugar problem now...Have you ever noticed how much sugar you consume in one day? I think I was consuming at least 1/4 kg/ day - had to be considering that sugar is everywhere, ,they put it in everything! and the wine alone was probably contributing to my daily quota of it...take the wine away, means to take some sugar away = headaches. I wonder...

There was one incident today I would like to address tonight because it really ticked me off!

"You cannot drink." At the stage that I am now, if someone tells you that in person or over the telephone, my first reaction is "how dare you?" Someone called me out over the telephone today, with a sarcastic tone, insinuating my inability to follow through, while at the same time patronizing me. I got angry...but why, really? was it because this person is, perhaps, right? Am I angry at the sarcastic part or the patronizing part? Is it because, once again, I'll have to face finding myself laughing at myself WITH others? I cannot handle that feeling of inadequacy. Do I fear completely dismantling the person I was trying to be and going back to the usual, standard, me? Will I have to store this project/ commitment away with all the other commitments I have made in the past and never followed through (another one for the books)?

What and who am I trying to prove wrong with this project?

Good night my dear friends.
Until tomorrow....

http://www.economist.com/businessfinance/displayStory.cfm?story_id=15276746&source=hptextfeature

2010-01-14T16:16:00.000-08:00

http://www.economist.com/businessfinance/displayStory.cfm?story_id=15276746&source=hptextfeature

Day -361 (and news...)

2010-01-13T20:01:00.000-08:00

Dear readers,

A few changes since my last post to report: soon after I finished writing my blog last night and publishing it, I decided to have some dark chocolate. My husband was watching TV, so all he heard was commotion in the kitchen and me walking towards the garage, and returning. I had gone there to get something from the car, but when I walked in and told him I was going to bed and kissed him good night, he immediatly asked me if I was drinking hidden from him (in the garage) - so I, of course, get offended and ask why would he say such a thing, and he said that my breath smelt different, so I told him it was chocolate. He did not believe me and asked to sniff again, apologizing when he realized he was wrong. So the change I'm going to make is a small one, a simple adjustment in my writting and story telling strategy - it will not be so much about alcohol anymore, it is evolving into something else I am not quite sure what yet, but besides lots of encouragement, I'm also getting a lot of judgment, as if I do indeed have a problem with alcohol. It is like I have created a monster, and people are now starting to wonder themselves if I have a problem. Do I? Maybe my problem is pursuing this blog thing. I have feelings of embarrassement now. Should I?

Moving on...around 11:56am I got a text from my husband saying he was going to a grand opening for one of his clients who owns a liquor store and what wine did I want? what the heck! so I text him back saying: "no wine" and he responds: "Forgot." So quick to judge, but yet pushing it onto me! Normally I would have give in, but since this little project, I have come to realize that indeed alcohol played a role in this little exchange between me and my husband that goes further than just "buying me a bottle" - I believe he needed an excuse to go, and that buying a bottle for me would have made him more comfortable there. Once again, alcohol serves as the ice breaker, the one thing that two parties would have in common that would generate pleasant conversation. In this case he was not going to consume it, but buying it for "his wife" would certainly accomplish both socialization and show business commitment.

I'm not mad at all, although it may sound like it. I am again analyzing the situation, and the power this "drug" has over us. How we fall back onto it everytime when we need a little social boost. My theory on the power of alcohol has just been expanded beyond consuming it, it is now a language of its own, that most people in society would understand by buying it as a token of business relationship, receving it as a gift, or consuming it.

I'm tired today...you can probably tell by my lack of enthusiasm. However, I am happy to report that even after the chocolate last night (and again tonight) I did not cogitate drinking wine, whereas in the past, it would always accompany the dark chocolate...now I must be carefull not to substitute one for the other. That would do me no good! I will say this: Indeed, I expect to see some $ savings and weight loss out of this. I do feel more energetic and free.

A couple more things before I let you go for tonight: thank you all who have been following this blog and sending me notes on facebook and twitter. I am considering starting blogging for the local paper who have bought out on my idea to blog about an unusual topic: "A Brazilian living in a hispanic world." - The idea is to talk about my experiences as a Brazilian in this day and age where hispanics are so prevalent and the conflicts that can be generated by generalization that all Latin America is pretty much the same. I would also share stories of my experiences and adventures of family and friends who have moved to the US from Brazil. What do you think? Can I do it?

PS: follow me on TWITER: @kikabz or FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/kikapr?ref=profile

Good night all!

Day 3 Alcohol Free (-362)

2010-01-12T20:25:00.000-08:00

Today went by so fast! I got up, woke up my munchkins, made coffee, fed the kids, took them to school, went back home, took a call from a dear friend who is my wine sipping partner. She asked me what was new, and I said that the only new thing in my life is that now I'm blogging about stopping drinking. She said it was a great experiment, but one that she could not achieve herself :( so we laughed.

After the call, I got ready for work, drove to a side-client to collected a payment (for developing a business plan last month for a great up and coming company in San Antonio), deposited the check, went into work and started calling customers away.

You see, I took a job with the shipping giant UPS primarily due to personal financial reasons and GREAT benefits. My job is to contact prospect UPS customers and inquisitively try to uncover new businesses for UPS. It is a real fun job, as these people know we will be calling them, and they just love UPS! So it really is a win-win situation! So I get paid very good money to be nosey! Just the other day I met a fella who makes gun parts out of this garage! And that's a $100,000+ dollar per year in revenue! He is hoping to expand within 2 months and projects he'll be a multi-millionaire within 5 years. Nice. (still no desire to drink, so we can scratch out jealousy or envy as one of the triggers)
This UPS thing has really awakened the old career hunger within me, and working for a company that employs more than 400,000 people worldwide really has its perks. One, the pay is great; Two, they are very efficient, it has to be the most organized company I have ever worked for: all systems have been carefully tested and processes are in place; Three: people there are great, fun and respectful; Four: benefits (for those of us who have children) are insanely great; Five: they promote within and this means they can literally "ship" you anywhere in the world where they have offices - all you need to do is to want it. I'm there - the next closest job I can think of would be becoming a Foreign Service officer for the State department :)

So mid-day I get this piercing headache. I still think it was the allergies ... I honestly do not believe it is frustration related, it is too soon! I wonder if, as I get better at my job, make new friends, and all is well back to the place where I am familiar with, wine will become an afterthought. Was it the job that caused me to re-think my social drinking habits? or the change of my drinking habits that caused me to be happy at my job by making me see things on a brighter side? What do you think?

Today is almost gone, and the only reference to alcohol was with my friend on the phone in the morning and through text around 8:27pm from that same friend: "Having a glass of wine :-x"

What else could I say to that, except for: "nice...."?

No worries, my friends...I am still home, sipping on water

...

Alcohol free - Day Two (-363)

2010-01-11T19:36:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning at 6am. Checked email and there was a note from a good friend of mine asking me how exactly is my metamorphosis from Brazilian to full blown American working out for me - she is "lost in this process" as she puts it, and I find myself thinking there must be something wrong with me for not feeling the same way. The truth is that perhaps a survival skill has set in and I have accepted, or told myself I have accepted, being now an American. Citizenship came by choice as I took the oath in 2001, right before 9-11.

Doing so was a proud moment for me, and perhaps a defining one that required very little decision making as I have known, for as long as I can remember, that the USA was somewhere I wanted to go and stay. It has been 8 years since I last visited my birth city and 6 years that I have stepped into Brazilian soil altogether.

Just the other night I was visualizing what it would be like to set foot in my hometown again...would I immediately start crying from joy? Would I make a fool out of myself and embarrass my kids by getting on my knees kissing the pavement like the Pope does every land he visits? That remains to be seen.

It does makes me wonder though, if drinking socially had something to do with numbing the pain it causes me when I think of my sweet homeland - the land of God, as many say. So I got kids ready, took them the school, had an Advocare grape flavor drink my neighbor gave me to try and started getting ready for work. No thought of alcohol. Get in the car, drive 15 minutes to work, and as I'm pulling into the street of my job, I catch myself peeking at the never previously noticed liquor store. Mental note to self: "hmmm". Are my eyes seeing what my unconsciousness never made conscious before? Is my awareness elevated to the point that I can now be one with my unconsciousness? That's pushing it :)

As the day went by, I noticed how much sugar I crave, but the day flew by and soon it was close to 5pm. Work stress was settling in and the first though of desire to have a glass when I got home popped to mind. I quickly dismissed it and home I went. Altogether, I counted at least 6 times during the day where people brought up alcohol:

"Just saw a police officer giving a bicycle rider an alcohol breath test - I love Texas!"
"Just found a bottle of wine I hid from myself, too bad it is already gone..."
"I drank and dialed this weekend."
"I need a drink right about now."
"Are you going out tonight?"
"Let's talk serious business...when are we getting together for some vino?"
"If you want to give someone a bottle of wine, it has to be done off premises."

I cannot prove that all of these comments were acted upon, but the fact that alcohol is used in not only social, but as examples of corporate business policies...now that's a little messed up. And this is my point, how much are we really consuming the alcohol versus the other way around.

Day two - so far so good. No urges, no invitations, lots of encouragement. Keep reading!

Alcohol free - Day One (-364)

2010-01-10T16:29:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning with a new conviction: that if I'm going to change, actually have a personal goal for myself, alcohol consumption is a big one. I am definitely (by my definition) not an alcoholic! I will, however, like everyone else I know, give in to a drink or two under peer pressure and I would classify myself as the occasional drinker, one who would say there is nothing wrong with drinking a good glass of wine once in a while - so that we are clear, "once in a while" to me meant 2 or 3 times per week (one or two glasses per instance).

This morning, after thinking about the cheap white wine I had consumed the night before, I decided to try a little experiment: to become alcohol free for 365 days. I have decided to document this "experiment" so that I or you can call me out when I lie, honesty is the main source of validation, therefore we'll have to trust me through this.

First thing I did was to announce my intentions via my Facebook status...and the responses I got were mixed (see bellow), but for most part, seems like most of us think it is a silly thing to do. Second thing I did was to tell my husband that I was no longer going to drink, and he winked at me. Hmmm. I think it is possible, so throughout this year, I'll be challenging myself to understand the bigger picture of this powerful control agent, the alcohol. I will not challenge anyone else, but will see how my own goal will affect my friendship and business circle.

What I hope to achieve is freedom from the need to start a conversation by planning "happy hour" or the need have a glass when in certain situations or environments. I will analyse what triggers my mind to want to join in, and what environment I was in. Can we ever meet people and break the ice sober or without asking to join in? I think I can ...This is a pure desire to understand my actions and those of my friends and family. Are we consuming the alcohol or is the alcohol really the one consuming us?

Cristine Alves Vasquez First day of sobriety ... 364 more days to go

4 hours ago via Facebook for iPhone · Comment ·

You, Linda Lopez de Roman and Christie Roam-Wright like this.

Dioneia Jimenez

what? are you serious!? why? lol

4 hours ago ·

Cristine Alves Vasquez

Yeah, I want to challenge myself and feel healthy.

4 hours ago ·

Mark Abarca

Ya right

4 hours ago ·

Cristine Alves Vasquez

Sounds hard right mark? Want to join in a bet?

4 hours ago ·

Jack Hinton

Uh, why?

4 hours ago ·

Cristine Alves Vasquez

Ok, just to clarify ... I did not join AA... Just a personal goal. I do realize that this will open my eyes to how much alcohol consumes people and not the other way around. Let's call it an experiment. I am still the same person, and hopefully just as much fun!

3 hours ago ·

Mark Abarca

I could not do it. I have to much alcohol on the shelf that needs sucking down this year. Do you want to come over and have a drink with Melissa and I and help us out?

2 hours ago ·

Cristine Alves Vasquez

You could always give it away :) I would love to go hang out, but let's not make this about the drinks! :))

34 minutes ago ·

Linda Lopez de Roman

You are very courageous and are to be admired! Good for you! Keep us posted on your progress!

28 minutes ago ·

Looking for steady income

2009-11-21T15:21:00.001-08:00

Looking for a job is a full time job. What if you don't want a job, but a career? Well, when I started the "part-time" home based company 2 years ago I did not count on a recession, and with that came the need for more income, which was hard to find, because besides not having enough clients out there willing to outsource marketing, the career type jobs were just as inexistent as clients. Then the only option becomes to find a "job" - so who's in the same situation as I am out there?

I am holding on as hard as I can right now to the "career" plan, but the job keeps teasing me and tempting me to join their little game. How much longer will I stand the banter between job and I? time shall tell - meanwhile, marketing "careers" out there - I'm here, wanting to sell, market, promote the heck out of your product! call me...

Life in general is not general at all...

2009-08-19T20:47:00.000-07:00

Who am I and will I ever know?

2009-06-05T21:06:00.001-07:00

I truly believe that the Universe takes us where we are meant to be. Unless you follow what others tell you (and that's easy to do), you will never fully understand and complete your mission this time around on this earth.

No I'm not drunk - just a little philosophical.

Good night

2009-04-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

I'm tired...I think I'm going to bed...

Yes, I know...

2009-04-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

After proof reading my last post, I do realize there were plenty of errors...I'm sure you'll forgive me...but I'm too lazy to go back and fix it... :) figure it out! :)

NYC ... a short story...

2009-04-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I last posted something. That is because I got busy, yes, busy...I started helping a friend promote her Art and dabbing at some Public Relations in addition to the consulting I was already doing. I think I have found my calling, really, time will tell if it pans out and necessity will dictate the path I'll follow the next few months.

Got back from NYC last night and boy don't I feel tired. I may go to bed to take a nap...it took us 8 hours to get home! OMG...but let me tell you, worth every second, NYC is my place to be. It reminds me so much of growing up in Porto Alegre, south Brazil. The honking, the yelling, the loud mouthing :) all very familiar. I was awakened a couple of times in the middle of te night by drunk fights, traffic jams and one morning by the tic tac of horses going to work at Central Park. My husband came with me and he too felt right at home. We discussed moving there, but then again the place is exorbitantly expensive...

10pm and people just leaving home to go eat (the locals, of course, because the tourists would stroll into restaurants with their shopping bags, wearing shorts, their high heel socks and tennis shoes at 6pm) - we wanted to blend in.

And we tried very hard to do just that. Luckly we have a family friend, God bless his soul, life, and everything he needs God to bless, because he has been nothing but wonderful all of these years. His place is on (for those of you who know NYC) W46th between 9th and 10th. Walking distance everywhere.

And walk we did:

First day - from W46 to Central Park where we rode a rigshaw driven by a kid from Mali. Luckly I had studies Mali in my MBA and knew exactly where it was...and why this kid would be in NYC working the rigshaw. He was wonderful, gave us a short tour, all I had seen before, but Greg needed to see it for the first time. He told us that Robert DeNiro rode his car!!! how cool is that? :) Kudos to Mali boy - he'll go far. From there we walked to 5th and 46th to do some sopphing, and then back to the apt. Later we went to eat at a restaurant which was located in Uptown, in a building where the first Comedy Club in America was established: http://www.dongiovanni-ny.com/uptown_location.htm

The next morning I was awakened by the horses going to work, we got up, walked to the corner diner, ate a hefty breakfast and off we went Downtown...rode the train and got off on WTC station. It is so hard to imagine, now that it is all clean and under construction, the devastation Sept. 11 2001 was. But as always, Americans bounced back and the place was moving, and we should all be able to see the beautiful buildings that will replace the area. I feel lucky to have had the ability to visit the WTC building when it was there, and so to see the empty space, left an empty space in my heart as well.

We decided to walk to the Pier where we could see the Statue of Liberty, kept walking through Wall Street, and up the Brooklyn Bridge. This is by far the best outing I've ever done! What a beautiful bridge and sight from it! Once we got off it, we went to eat...more pizza! this time it was Grimaldi's - there was a line, but once we got in we realized why the line was even there! the place only seated like pack tight 50 people...well worth the wait though: http://www.grimaldis.com/brooklyn.htm We rode the train back to Midtown and before we walked home, we took a another stroll to the Central Library...unfortunately it was closed due to some posh event...so we walked home to rest.

The next day we got up a little later than usual, probably tired from all the walking from previous day. But with so much to see, we kept going...we walked to Grand Central Station, where I had an expresso in their "food court" - what a wonderful structure!!!! I must confess that it looks a lot bigger in the movies...We got on the train to Prince St., which is in the middle of SOHO...more shopping! so many people! and so much to buy, but little money :))

Next...you guessed it! more walking...to Little Italy, where we stopped for some "traditional Italian" and I found the Tortellini soup I grew up drinking...(we called it Capeleti) - so I ordered Tortellini al Bodo :) and Greg had .... PIZZA! from there we went for desert at Ferrara - America's frist expresso bar!!! http://www.ferraracafe.com/ Now you know this is my kind of place...a little pricey, but soooo good!

From there Greg was like - I'm getting a foot massage, so we walked to Chinatown (a few blocks from Little Italy) and got a great foot massage...well worth it! I don't even want to know how much Greg paid those Chinese people, all I know is that it was great!

From there we headed home again in the train, rested for about 1 hour, got dressed and left to eat dinner...this time we did not go far (extremely tired), and so walked down 46th and ordered some Brazilian - I had the Bobo de Camarao! delicious!!!! http://www.brazilbrazilrestaurant.com/?item=front I drank Bhrama and Greg had Xingu...there was live music and it was perfect!

The next morning...our last morning :( we got up, went to the laundry mat and washed clothes, towels and sheets. While we waited for them to dry, we walked a few blocks in search of food, finding this little store where they made fresh smoothies. Greg had a natural smoothie with bananas, strawberries and oranges and I ordered a freshly squeezed orange juice, paired with a Croissant, the breakfast of champions!!!

Got back home, put everything away, and off we went to Port Authority to ride the bus to Lagordia Airport...when I realized I had left my brand spanking new coat in the appartment! no need to worry my friends! I told Greg to wait at the corner, grabbed a cab, went to apt, got coat, came back and said...what the heck, let's take the cab to airport....10 hours later, we were greeted by Sophia and my dad at the airport....

Today I am awakened by Stephan saying...Mom, Dad...where did you come from?????

What a way to finish a trip :)

My back hurts

2009-04-07T18:59:00.000-07:00

So today I finished removing all carpet nail thingys from the guest bedroom upstairs - I figured out that if I jammed a shovel under the nail boards instead of a hammering a screw driver I would lift them more efficiently and quickly and not have to be on my knees the whole time, but the result has been that my lower back now aches...a lot! It is good exercise though, and it makes me feel like I am useful :)

Now the next task is to pick a color for the room, since it is a guest room, I'll take suggestions...I would not take any if it were my room :) I'm thinking fall colors, trying to stay away from spring colors, since that's the most influence I have right now with Easter coming and all the pastels tones bombarding my brain. I envision that room as a place that brings people a peaceful feeling when they come in and stay with us.

My daughter wants it to be her "art studio", that's not a bad idea either. Like I said, I'm accepting suggestions. Well, time to go find some tylenol...until next time!

Affirmations...

2009-04-06T20:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's:

Making decisions is easy for me as I am a decisive person. I welcome new ideas and I follow through with what I say.

Today's:

I am at peace.

What to expect when you are expecting...

2009-04-03T18:07:00.000-07:00

Every American mother of the 90's and 2000's knows about the book "What to Expect when you are Expecting." The first time I heard about this book was from my sister-in-law, who herself was already months into her pregnancy when I got pregnant with my first child. She would cautiously let me borrow it (for some reason I cannot recall now, I never did buy my own), so I was forced to enjoy her interpretations which were occasionally found written by hand on the margins of the book. This book is the bible of pregnant women in America, and I'm pretty sure that if you are a pregnant woman in my home country chances are you will be recommended this book. I think my sister had the Portuguese version, but I could be wrong about this.

No, I'm not pregnant, and no, I don't have the book any longer. I have to say it was a life saver and a source of comfort and company when the Doctor or the Nurse practitioner could not answer my multiple calls a day :) First pregnancies are so time consuming!

This blog is about the recent inquire about the title of the book - this person wants to buy it and thanks to today's technology was able to get the name (and I'm sure the book is already on order) very quickly through Messenger :)

What this books fails to prepare you for, however, is the amount of pressure one feels by friends and family wanting to know if it is pregnancy or not. I wish the very first chapter gave specific instructions on how to dodge these people, for example, if someone asks you the status, one should feel comfortable enough in saying the meanest things they can think of. Why not? :) I say this because I'm one of those annoying people who asks and asks and asks, as if their answer would mean as much as it will mean to them - but it won't!!!

No one can take that emotion from the new parents and they have every right to own it for as long as they want!!! Finding out you are pregnant is the begining of having a firm and complete family structure, let them enjoy it, hide it if they want to, until they feel like telling the world. It is such a joyful time for the young couple that I think it needs not be shared immediately with all.

Take it in, live it, breath the moment because once the nausea comes and all you want to do is sleep, you'll feel nostalgic of those moments alone with your other half and the little one in the oven.

But don't forget to tell us!!!! (soon, very soon!)

An ode to you - my dear long lost friend.

2009-04-01T15:24:00.000-07:00

You know who you are.

So many were left behind when I first moved to the USA. Others came into my life, but either chose to leave, had to leave or just plain regretted coming into it at all. Now time has passed and it is when I am home and everyone is asleep that I find myself thinking of our paths that crossed so blissfully.

I miss you, our banter, our eternal promised friendship which has sadly been a victim of a trickery of life. I shall see you all again one day soon.

This I will.

TX SUNSET

2009-03-31T19:33:00.001-07:00

BEAUTIFUL TEXAS SUNSET SKY - view from my backyard...yes, we are blessed!

Silence

2009-03-31T06:04:00.000-07:00

Silent....to be or not to be...that is the question!

It is silent here, all I hear is the keyboard taps as I type; occasionally the dog scratches his kneck, making his collar shake, gets up walks around the house and heads to the water container, where he takes long drinks. They said it would rain today, and they were right - I dropped off the kids just in time to avoid the hail that came down, this time they were little ones, but still scarry and painful if you were to walk into it them...I'm such a great mom, drove them to school as fast as I could to avoid the painful rocks :) or maybe it was so that I could come home to the silence. Walk in and I hear snoring, husband still home, I wake him to remind him that SOMEONE has to work and he claims he did not sleep at all at night, I ask why, and he shuts his eyes again - I think...good! silence!

Then it hits me, like the hail would hit me if I were outside...who the hell likes silence? I will have plenty of silence when I'm dead!!! - I'm sure I'm stealling that from someone big, and important like Aristotle, but who cares, he certainly does not, or cannot...Well, this blog is about the transition of going from a full house to a practically empty nest. Our family is not as conventional as many, since I grew up in a different country, people come visit all the time. Most recently I became the "host family" for my 30 something cousins (ok Maraike, you are not 30 yet...) for about 2 full months, and it was great! My kids just loved the experience, however, when time came to say good bye, it was sad, as it always is. Coincidently, my older sister was also visiting with her two girls, so a couple of days after 30 something cousins left, my sister and 2 angels left...here we go again saying more good byes. We have decided that we don't say good bye, but see you soon. Having my cousins here was a reminder of how important having a good solid family line is, there is so much we can exchange, learn from each other. Connecting with others is wonderful, but when that other is part of your past, is even better!

What I chose to say is that life is full of "hellos" and not "good byes"....

I'm sure I'll see them again soon - until then, I'll try to enjoy the silence...

PR

2009-03-30T20:36:00.000-07:00

Public relations is just the bomb!

Saturday Night at home

2009-03-14T19:29:00.001-07:00

It is saturday night and an Xbox just made its way into my living room, playing on my HD TV...to top it off, I'm online blogging, for the first time in my life...well, not first time, the very first time I tried I could barely write English, and back then it was called geocities - who remembers that??? it was not called blogging, but it was some type of writing what was on your mind.

So, what's wrong with this picture? my husband playing Kung Fu Panda with my two kids and me, sitting on my fat ass blogging, while I hear the sounds of swoshing bullets shooting through the air of what looks like somewhere in China. I hope to visit China one day by the way, but for now I must focus on trying to get myself back to Brazil where I have not been in 8 years. It is time, and although I doubt anyone there misses me, I miss them.

The tickets are 1K/ each, and since my children are now paying 100% of the airfare, I have to think real hard whether we invest the $$ there or all you can eat Cozumel.

Well, gotta try to post this...be back later.